Consequences

Dear Kate,

The other day, I visited a third grade class at the village school. In my conversation with the teacher, she started to tell me about some of the children who needed the most assistance. She mentioned that lately a boy in her class had been crying a lot. He would go out to the field at break time and sit by himself. If the class started to talk about what they did at home or what they ate at meal times, he would always start crying. The teacher discovered that this boy and his seven siblings had been abandoned by their parents. From what she could find out, their father took a second wife and went to live at the other woman’s house and the mother ran off. Let’s just say that when she explained the situation, and pointed out the boy, it was impossible for me to keep the tears from rolling down my cheeks. It broke my heart and I decided that I had to find out where these children were living and go see what was happening. Maybe I could at least buy them some food.

Thankfully, my friend Emily new the approximate location of their home so we set out one afternoon, completely unsure of what we would find. Even here, people gossip, so until you see the situation with your own eyes, it is impossible to know what is really happening. As we walked in the assumed direction of their house, we asked the people whom we passed, if they knew where these children live. They did and pointed us in the right direction. After a 30 minute walk, we reached their house. Surprisingly, we found all eight children AND their two parents at home. Initially I was relieved, but then I took a closer look.

Its a small village, so Emily actually knows the parents of this family and they had heard of the “white girl” from their children. They were too happy to have visitors, to wonder why we showed up at their house, out of the blue. They welcomed us, and the man eagerly showed his American visitor the flowers he was growing in hopes of starting a business. Maybe I would make a good investor? I didn’t mind his business pitch because it gave Emily a chance to talk to the wife alone. She confirmed the rumors, her husband took a second wife after she expressed interest in starting a business. He felt like he was losing his wife so he needed to take another one to care for his children. Basically, the home life was so bad that the wife left and the husband went to live with the other wife, leaving his children alone and essentially abandoned. It was only recently that they both had returned. The husband was forced to release his second wife from marriage after the authorities in the area found out about the situation. They said he could either go home and take care of his first family or leave the area.

The story definitely doesn’t add up. Granted, I heard the translated version so some of the facts might be different, but it doesn’t really matter what happened. The parents may be physically present, but those children are not being cared for properly. He makes about $20 per month, which is not even enough to pay for the kids to go to school, let alone buy food. I saw their house. Well, it really isn’t a house. I would call it a 8′ft X 4′ft structure that is loosely put together with scrap metal. There is one bed and one candle that provides their light at night. I have never seen anything like it. Keep in mind that 10 people are supposed to sleep in there.

The age range of the children is 3 to 13 years. The mother even said that the children cry at night because they are so hungry. Believe it or not, it gets worse, or at least I think it does. You have to understand that in many parts of Africa, when one spouse is unfaithful they have a very good chance of contracting the HIV virus. That is actually one of the ways that the disease has spread so quickly on this continent. Men would go to the cities to work, have sex with other women, contract the virus and then go back home to sleep with their unsuspecting wives. Now, I don’t no anything for sure, but he was admittedly unfaithful to his wife. So when I met this woman and saw how frail she is and heard her cough and try and hide some kind of illness, my mind immediately went to HIV. I hope I am just being paranoid, but if I am not, then there is a much bigger issue here then starving children. If I am right, these children will inevitably become orphans; 8 more orphans added to the 143,000,000 orphans that already exist in this world.

I don’t really know what to do. If the parents weren’t there, I wouldn’t hesitate to act, but like I said something is not adding up. I can’t give them money for food because I don’t think it would be used for food. Did I forget to mention that the man reeked of alcohol when we met him? So we are trying to think of ideas to help these children. I can’t turn my back on them. I think the first priority is to have the wife tested for HIV, but Emily doesn’t feel comfortable asking her about her status. I agree that it is a sensitive subject, but if she is HIV+ then this situation changes drastically. I’m really just praying and asking God for guidance at this point, but I only have one week left here and I don’t want to leave those kids in their current situation. Any thoughts or suggestions?

I don’t want to end this letter without responding to your comments on the value of a college education. I actually chose my school because of the value they placed on internships and volunteer work. Personally, I learned more from my experiences in the field and through my volunteer work than in the classroom. My major wasn’t “how to start your own nonprofit” so when I found myself on the path that I am on now, I researched and taught myself what needed to be done to start HEAL. That being said I don’t regret going to college because I had the opportunity to expand my mind. Am I happy about my loan payments? Not really, but I’m choosing to let it go and see the value in the experience. I don’t like to look at the experiences in my life with regret, because they all contributed to who I am today.

So clearly, I was a little ambitious to think I could include my experience visiting a refugee camp in this letter. I will save that for next time I hope I am not putting you into a state of depression with these accounts. I hope all is well! How are the Olympics going? Can’t wait to hear from you soon!

With love,

Jenny